Absense of Gray: Heronstairs Fanfiction Chapter 1
by dusstandshadows
Summary: The story of Will Herondale and Jem Carstairs if Tessa had never come into the picture.


Jem collapsed. The Institute had not been expecting to send Will and himself to capture a rouge Raum demon this morning and Jem had not regarded the amount of Yin Fen he perhaps should have taken or that he usually did.

Through his blurry vision, Jem saw a flash of black rush toward him. Fearing that it might be the Ruam demon, Jem recoiled into himself, preparing for the worst. Instead, Jem heard a familiar voice.

"James! James, are you alright!?" He looked up to see a worried Will Herondale crouching over him.

Jem blinked rapidly so that is vision cleared. All the while, Will was shaking his shoulders and had the same look in his eyes as whenever Jem had an "episode", as if this was the end. Jem felt lucky that Will would open up to him, as he did with so few people. Ever since Jem arrived at the Institute some five years ago and befriended Will, he noticed Will's extraordinary talent to push people out or make them come to hate him; he had seemed to do this with everyone who might possibly care for him, except for Jem. How else would a boy that looks like Will Herondale not have many admirers? Though no one, even Jem, knew why Will was so introverted, but sometimes, when Jem looked at Will, he could see that it somehow pained him to hurt people. That when he broke their hearts, he broke his own. As if it were some awful chore he had to keep up, but Jem would never ask why.

"I'm fine William, truly." He gently pulled Will's hand of his shoulder and began to stand up. "There is no need to worry about me."

"Please," Will said. "Seeing as we are in immediate danger, I was only presuming that you were in a condition to fight. But if not, I would be happy to let the Ruam demon feast on you flesh."

No matter the situation it seemed Will thought that he was in fact inclined to make some sort of snarky comment. Jem smiled at the thought, which seemed to make Will smile as well.

"Oh that's alright," Jem laughed as he talked, making the silver in his eyes shine like snowflakes against the winter clouds. "Seeing as I barely have any time left as it is, I would hate to inconvenience you." Jem had meant his remark as a joke, but by now he should have known better, for Will never took his health as such.

"Jem you know I don't-" Will leaped forward toward him and outstretched his arm, grabbing Jem by the sleeve, just as Jem's step faltered. Jem latched on to Will's wrist and hurled himself up, with the assistance of Will of course. Will's shoulders relaxed, but Jem could see that he was anxious, set on edge as if Jem might break at any moment. This made Jem upset, he did not want to be thought of as something you would have to keep constant watch over, like a bird that could fly out the window and be gone within a matter of seconds. Once Jem regained what little strength he had, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. Jem coughed so hard that his whole body shook, making a harsh racketing sound that even made Will jump.

"By the Angel James!" Will put his hands on Jem's shoulders and turned Je towards him. He looked so fragile in that moment and Jem would recall it later with more understanding. Jem met Will's eyes for a second and no longer, they were the color of the ocean at night. He glanced down at the handkerchief. Blood. For the third time this week.

Out of the corner of Jem's eye he saw Will leaning over to address the problem, but Jem slid the handkerchief back into his pocket before he could see.

"It's fine, really." Jem choked out, the taste of blood still fresh on the back of his throat.

"James," Will cornered Jem with his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I may be in unfavorable conditions Will, but I am not incapable and I wish to go on."

"Well then," Will patted Jem on the back ever so slightly; as if I single touch could bruise him. "We tread on! You're a good man James, with such valor. That is part of the reason why I admire you so."

"And the other reason?" he raised an eyebrow at Will.

"Your charming good looks of course!" Jem laughed at that.

He swung his arm around the other boy's shoulder and they walked off toward the Raum demon. Dagger and sword in hand.

After Will and Jem has finally done away with the demon they were both covered in blood in ichor, but Will couldn't care less about his appearance, which was unusual. His attention was on Jem. He knew that in fact Jem had been coughing blood into his hankercheif earlier and had avoided to tell him, even though he felt that Jem could tell him anything, he had neglected to do so.

" Damn it James! What are we going to do now that we are drenched in this filth! If we continue back to the Institute like this we'll be scaring off the pedestrians tens at a time!" Will said, his arms flailing madly in the air. He then turned to Jem in question, who began to search through his pocket and in a matter of seconds pulled out his stele.

"There is a rune for that you know. Now, follow me." He motioned to behind one of the many decaying walls of the building.

"Yes, I do supposed the sight of two young men burning marks inot one anothers arms would only frighten the tourist further." He followed Jembehind the building and rolled up his sleeve. Jem brought his stele down on Will's shoulder and began to draw.

Will watched as Jem drew the black lines of the invisibility rune. He found it hard to believe that the other boy's coloring had once been similar to the thin black lines slowly forming on Will's arm. When Jem had first come to the Institute some five years ago, his hair had been black with streaks of the silver color that it was now and his eyes the same. Never the less, Will found it hard to imagine Jem as healthy, which to him sounded awful, as it would if he ever said such a thing to Jem. However, Will muched liked the silvery color, it gave Jem a sort of unique beauty like that of a precious gem or diamond. Where Will was normally the one to be noticed out of the two, he would have chosen Jem anyday. He was so much a better man than Will could ever be.

"Will?" Jem asked, snapping him back to reality."William are you all right?" It had just been brought to his attention that he had been staring at Jem for God knows how long. Clearly embarrassed, he said

"Yes- um, I'm fine it's just, um. What?" _Stupid,_ Will thought, _You never stutter._

"I need you to draw an invisibility rune on me as well," Jem said. " Or have you forgotten that I am covered in ichor as well."

"Oh yes of course, you need only ask."

"I did. A multitude of times." Jem smiled. Will bit his lip, looked down at Jem's arm and began to draw. Every so often Will would look up at Jem, studing his thin silver hair and the slight curve of his jaw line. He wandered if, when Will wasn't looking Jem gave him the same attention.

Once Will was done with the rune he ment to ask Jem if he would like an irataze as well, since he had something of an episode earlier. But he knew it would only irritate Jem if he asked, and he hated to make Jem unhappy. So instead hw simply said

" What shall we do next?" Will asked as they walked side by side. "Perhaps a trip to Hyde Park? Or we might go to Blackfriars Bridge and gaze out upon the river Thames?"

Jem looked Will up and down and then himself.

"Not like this." And with that the two young men shuffled into the Institute carriage. Jem first, and Will following behind.

As he pulled open the doors of the Institute, the familiar smell hit him like a hurricane after being outside with Will all morning. When Jem had first arrived at the Institute five years ago it had only smelled like dust to him. But as the place and people grew closer to him he began to notice the subtle smell of Agatha's cooking in the kitchen and the smell of metal reflecting off the swords in the training room that made the place feel more like home, that and Will.

"Will? Jem! Is that you?" Jem and Will exchanged a glance just as they turned to see Charlotte running down the corridor, struggling to pickup her skirts as she tripped toward them. She shuffled up to Jem and grabbed his face. "You both have been gone all morning!" Charlotte released Jem and turned to Will. "It was just one demon! You didn't run into any trouble did you? Jem if-."

"We were fine Charlotte." Will cut her off, seeming like an attempt to cover up Jem's earlier incident.

"Well as long as there was nothing out of the ordinary. Oh my! Arent you two a mess!" she said as if she were just noticing.

" Yes Will!" Jem grabbed the other boy's arm and began to drag him down the hallway. " Why don't we go was up,eh?"


End file.
